TSA Nude Body Scanners & Groping to U.S. Supreme Court

Petition Filed at Supreme Court

What a busy week and it’s only Tuesday! On Monday, I attended the TSA’s Aviation Security Advisory Committee’s public meeting at TSA headquarters in Arlington, VA (TSA Administrator John Pistole in attendance, surely loving my attendance), and this morning I presented my assessment of several security flaws (including the one in my March video, How to Get ANYTHING Through TSA Nude Body Scanners) to several members of Congress. More on these in a later post.

After my presentation, I headed to the U.S. Supreme Court and filed my petition for certiorari, asking the highest court in the land to take my case and, eventually, rule that I have the right to a full trial to review my claims of unconstitutional searches by the TSA — a trial which so far has been denied to me and everyone else who has asked. It is troubling that I have to go to the highest court in the land in order to get something that so obviously is guaranteed to us by our Constitution, but I look forward to getting due process back on track.

The filing requirements of the Supreme Court are actually a bit absurd. First, all documents (relevant to my petition, anyway) had to be specially printed on 6.125″ x 9.25″ paper, bound in a booklet. The court specifies the exact font and size to be used, the margins, the exact line spacing, and even the thickness of the paper it must be printed on (and supposedly, they indeed measure!). Any documents attached (such as lower court decisions) must be re-typed by the filer, since every other court prints on 8.5″ x 11″ paper (and “shrinking” is expressly verboten!) Everything must be filed with 40 copies, so a 50 page petition is now 2,000 pages to print. Not exactly environmentally-friendly, nor the most accessible to the people.

Then, when you get to the court, you’re not actually allowed to bring the documents into the clerk’s office. This is apparently for security reasons, because you could hide weapons in between thousands of pages of paper, I gathered. Instead, all documents must be brought to a security guard outside the back of the building, who will — get this — hand you a garbage bag, ask you to insert your documents, and then leave the documents on the curb for security processing. Perhaps it’s time for the court to consider allowing e-filing like every other federal court does. :)

About tsaoutofourpants
I'm a 28 year old entrepreneur and frequent flyer who opposes visual and manual inspection of the private parts of our bodies! I hope you'll join me in my fight to have our rights restored!

27 Responses to TSA Nude Body Scanners & Groping to U.S. Supreme Court

  1. CrimeDime says:

    That’s very interesting! I had no idea that had such strange requirements.

  2. esgatch says:

    The Supreme Court would strain out a gnat and swallow a camel. The souls of millions of innocents cry out against these paranoid and perverse men, who are rightly-robed in black.

  3. rosa parks we need you says:

    did you get a photo with pistole?
    did you request pistole be groped and x rayed scanned before he came into the room for your safety as well as other people in the room? did he wear a blue tsa uniform?

  4. Nullifier says:

    … hand you a garbage bag, ask you to insert your documents, and then leave the documents on the curb for security processing. This “security processing”, does it involve a large truck that comes to the curb, picks up the bag containing your documents, and removes the same to the nearest landfill?

  5. reggie says:

    Go to the back of the building and put your documents in a garbage bag to be left on the curb for security processing, were you then required to leave before the security processing began or were you just blindfolded? What has this country come too, I agree it is time to consider
    e-filing.

  6. Susan says:

    Leaving your filing in a garbage bag? That is truly bizarre !

    I hear your presentation was smashing. Can’t wait to see it !

    • Susan says:

      Hey, that was a logical career move for the pervert priest !

      Seriously, Pistole should be fired that hiring decision ALONE.

  7. RMulligan says:

    Way to go John. My first thought on reading your post…What about the Gxx Dxx Paper Reduction Act! They sure don’t practice what they preach. Kudos for you for leaning, understanding, and following the process regardless of the ridiculousness of it all. Hang in there. Is there an ETA for a decision or another one of those “We’ll get it done when we get to it.”

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  9. Chris says:

    Did you get any formal receipt yet, that your garbage bag full of papers was properly received by SCOTUS….or was this all just a big ruse to trick you into filing with the local DC landfill instead?

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  13. Jimmy says:

    I’m surprised they didn’t just ask you to feed it right into the shredder for them. If receipt is ever even acknowledged how long before they waive the wand and give some BS excuse for rejecting it. I’m going to say you will be given walking papers for no standing right after this session ends. Let us all hope get your day in court and kick the criminals collective hands out of our pants and lives forever.

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  18. JSturr says:

    Love your commentary.

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